Trying to kick an addiction is a painful and horrific process. Never mind if that addiction is to a drug, or a person. The last few weeks have been hell, as I know that Gerald is moving out. This is what I set out to make happen some time ago, but now I don't know if I can handle the roller coaster, some days I am strong, some days I am not. Those who know me, will say that everything is for the best, and in my head I know that, however that knowledge is not helpful in the painful moments. I am told those moments will be less and less, yet the intensity of the pain carries from one weak moment to the next. The strength that occurs in between has increased a bit over the last two or three days, yet the pain of separation is far from going away.

Where will this separation lead, I wonder. Will this be the end of the relationship or just another part of the roller coaster. If I am strong enough at the end of the day, logic would dictate the end of a bad relationship is best for all, unfortunately the heart is not ruled by logic.