Here is a list of behaviours which are considered by definition to be abuse:
Door slamming, kicking or punching holes in walls, fist shakingfist pounding, throwing objects, mimicked throwing of objects.
Threats creating terror or extreme fear of physical harm or,Life-style/security - innuendo/threats ("I earn the money and keep a roof over your head!") financial asset control to create dependenceThreatening or aggressive body stance and gestures, disrespect for 'personal body space''The Look', The silent treatment or unanswered questionsPessured decision makingFacial Glaring, distainful smirkingAudible, annoyed-sounding "Sighing"Snide remarks "Can't you take a joke?" insultsMaking you feel guilt about things you have no control over.False accusation, fault-finding, nit-pickingMaking a mess and failing to clean it upIsolating/alienation from our support groups or familyIssuing orders without giving reasons
Falsely-stated expertise/talent/knowledgeNon-performance of dutiesInterrogation of whereabouts, spending or intentions. Commiting our time/resources without our consentSocial exclusion, gossiping, exploitationLack of credit for effortsTreating you differently - 'When there are witnesses'Disproportionate allocation of assetsDisplay of weapon(s) to intimidateAbandonment/stranding in dangerous locations Displayed generosity to create 'appearances' which make you uncomfortableSulking, walking out, provoking guilt and turning the subject to his grievancesCriticizing, Witholding or delayed medical treatment. Cornering you during arguments to impede your leaving.Failure to consider common-sense consequences to others of his behaviourChanged expectations or unrealistic goalsettingLies, including omission of needed informationEye-rolling, 'snippy shoulder-shrug' responses, the "hrumph response, 'spit-out' responseswhispering to others or mumbled below-hearing level criticismRequesting information about us from others rather than to usFinger poking/pointingIrresponsibility of other people's possessionsPretending to fire imaginery weapons (finger/thumb reenact gun use)Failure to consider your worries and concernsLack of respect for different opinionsPublic humiliation, ridiculing - often at unfortunate circumstancesSwearing, name-calling, nationality/occupation, age/disability mimicking/mockingHumiliation at lack of knowledgeDiscrepancy in treatment of children, corruption/enticement/coercion into illegal or sexual activities. Be aware of the "drop the ball' abuser instigating situations then abandoning them leaving us to clean up the messLateness or non-arrival causing distressReckless behaviour meant to scarePossessiveness/JealousyInappropriate show of tears to appear overly reprimanded or portray insincere apologyCutting a deal: "If you__, then I'll___"Selecting weaker targets: Picking on Women, Children, ElderlyBluffing ThreatsThrowing 'tantrums'