It has been such a long time since I have blogged, I almost feel lost, without a thought with which to post or initiate a post. This is the week after Christmas, the week when the decorations will be put away and the tree will be dismantled. This will be the second year that we have had an artificial tree, a fact that I am still not quite used to. The lack of a nasty needle mess to clean up, the dilemma of trying to find a place to discard the used tree, the realization that the water from the tree was spilled and leaked onto the floor creating a stained puddle to wash away, the dropping of needles throughout the entire house as the tree is dragged from one room to the next until arriving at the front door exit to the outside, instead, we will simply remove the decorations, dimantle the tree, store the tree and wait for next year. ho hum how boring.

Hmmmm. The computer was slow, so I clicked again, and again, soooo does that mean I will be posting to blogger three times concurrently or simultaneously?? Certainly has been an ion of time since the last blog, a new month ago to be precise. The question must then be posed is it due to, being busy, tired, lazy, annoyed (with dial up internet) or just simply not paying attention to the lapse of time from one blog to the next. Perhaps the demands of the season or the upcoming wedding, certainly not overburdened with work as I do have some free time now. a wee bit anyway.

nasty! The tv lied they said that the Amazing Race was on at 9:00 oclock it is now 8:00 oclock and the Amazing Race is on. I was planning on working from 8 until 9, can't now, have to watch the Amazing Race, darn. Just another one of those little quirky things that makes us here in Saskatchewan so special, having all of our tv shows come on at the wrong time.

nasty! The tv lied they said that the Amazing Race was on at 9:00 oclock it is now 8:00 oclock and the Amazing Race is on. I was planning on working from 8 until 9, can't now, have to watch the Amazing Race, darn. Just another one of those little quirky things that makes us here in Saskatchewan so special, having all of our tv shows come on at the wrong time.

One more Christmas present bought today. Something for Angela. I think I need to make a list for some reason Christmas is coming up very fast for me this year. This is the weekend for the Christmas tree to be put up. For the second year in a row we are having an artificial tree, that still just doesn't seem right. A real tree is so much more Christmassy sort of like chestnuts roasting on an open fire, although who has an open fire these days and where are the chestnuts?

I put off buying a refilled ink cartridge for months, as I believed the price was probably too good to be true. It is. The black ink refilled cartridge I was cajoled into purchasing (after all why pay 49 dollars when you could pay 29) ran out of ink after less than 75 pages of printing. grrrr. and I didnt have a more expensive refill on hand to replace it with. Annoying!! Consequently I will not under any circumstances purchase another refilled ink cartridge, especially from Staples.

The sweet smell, swirl, tingle to the taste buds of a glass of red wine. This particular wine bottled in 2001 in a vineyard in Austria. Yet I think I prefer the wine bottled in the Okanagan Valley. Perhaps a bit of a warning on this particular bottle from Austria as to the 14% alcohol content ..hic.. would have been appropriate.

aah the satisfying feeling of having completed a successful event. Much like the feeling brought on by a great performance by an invidual in the arts. Now onward and forward on to the next adventure.

Well the conference is only a few days away, all the hard work and organizing will be over after Friday. It sort of feels like christmas where there is anticipation and then it is all over. Oh well, at least it has been a good learning experience and one just never knows what could come of it.

Conference committee meeting tommorrow, we shall see how things go. Decisions, decisions decisions, what to eat, where to sit, how to faciliate that, this and the other thing, such a complicated affair. I will enjoy the conference itself though, when it does get here. Hopefully nothing to serious will go wrong.

ok, the shower was fun, the trip to saskatoon was good and as always the food was soooo much better than in Nipawin. The whole working out of an office out of your own home is alright too. I realized that this afternoon when I got to work at my desk without any socks and shoes on, try that in a business suit.

whew found my usb cord for my printer, thought I had lost it again, in yet another move. a year ago when I moved I lost my usb cord, because I couldn't remember where I packed it, never did show up. This time I remember wrapping it up, putting in a place where I would never forget and promptly forgetting once I was moved and needing my usb cord. Last time I had to buy a new one, this time that wasnt an option so thank goodness we found the cord. It was packed in Arianna's duffle bag. Halloween was as hallowed as ever, we had about twenty five halloweeners and 123 chocolate bars later not to mention the ones the kids came home with. Next year I'm buying something that is good, like carrots, ha ha ha .

that strange little tickle in my ear is back, and no it is not someone elses romantic sweet whisperings in my ear, last time it turned out to be a nasty little infection that requried penicillin, perhaps if I over load on vit c and echinaccea I will be fine. Except oh joys of moving the good stuff is packed somewhere. oh where oh where could that be??

bought a house today, built in 1977, 918 sq ft bilevel with 1 1/2 car garage for $72,000.00. I sure do like Saskatchewan

An interesting dilema the undue button on Spider Solataire, cheating or learning from ones mistakes. hmmm (as you may have noticed I am deeply encroached in writing grants and proposals)

A new and interesting non profit org has found my little consulting company, and is looking for some organizational help and sourcing for funds. The Search and Rescue Associaiton is made up of trained, managed and well organized volunteers. With relatively little financial support. interesting, they work hard, save people's lives when possible yet are paid nothing. Oh and a professional hockey player works hard, saves peoples lives oops not and gets paid how much???!! It always seems to me that in the grand scheme of things our priorities are all wrong.

The seven wonders of Saskatchewan, oh did anyone mention three feet of snow in October!!!! moving, moving, moving, we are on the move again. But I am soooo busy with my own work, how to fit in a move, hmmmm. Oh well what needs to be done, shall be done.

what strange malady has infected my ears and throat, hangs on like the aliens in alien, pains me every time I swallow much akin to the pain one would feel if scratchy sand paper was rubbed down the inside of ones esophagus, lasting now for over four days, one must suppose at some point that the echanaccea and vitamin c are not working as usual in harmony and perhaps need either assistance from the penicillin family or a bottle brandy.

It would appear that no one in this group is particularly faithful to blogging these days. My personal space has been somewhat positive lately, I've been looking for a house with a suite so that I can live and work for free while someone else's money makes the mortgage payments. Apparently I may be able to go ahead with this, as CMHC seems to be more comfortable with my credit rating this time around, perhaps the difference from a 600 a month payment to a 380 a month payment has something to do with it. Arianna had a good day to day, or at least she didn't get beat up and she didnt have to phone me and make me rush home from work to give her and crystal a ride to school because crystal wouldnt listen to arianna. In reality all crystal needed was to go to the bathroom, then she went to school quite fine. Now that it is dark outside so much earlier, it is so much easier to convince Crystal that it is bedtime, low and behold in bed and asleep by 8 rather than 9.

caffeine addiction you say, I would certainly have to agree, symptoms including headache upon withdrawel, irritablity?? how about serious mental impairment leading to complete insanity. This from one who sometime waits in a Tim Horton's line up for the drive thru window behind 15 cars which cross at least one intersection and a curve. I wonder just how much caffeine is really in an extra large double double!!

hmmm, time for bed

Well, ok one proposal is off to spmc, the ywca research proposal is about 3/4 way done anddue by wed, the child care 2003 oultine and working paper of solutions tothe government is just starting and for the next three days I will be working from 4 to 6 on the extra accountng job I have. yuckkk, even 25 dollars an hour isnt enough to get excited about that.

Some television shows just should not be aired. CSI New York went a bit overboard to day, the premiere show was outlandish and disgusting. One has to wonder what goes on in the mind of the individual who wrote that??

Press conference tomorrow, In motion Saskatchewan, a nice way to say get your fa** As** of the couch and get physcially active. We are in the press conference because workplaces is one of the targets of this campaign. Apparently people who are at work are in a position to be bombarded with messages "a captive audience" I believe was the quote. Sounds a bit like the old participaction campaign of fifteen years ago. I suppose time will tell how effective it is.

Must be time to do the own company thing and manage that rather than someone else's business. THe possibilities these days seem abundant.

Value Village has made it to our city, yay. The grand opening was on thursday last week and I have had two major shopping trips there already. Halloween stuff and clothes for the kids and Gerald. I like Value Village.

I feel for the people who work in retail and work all day long until 6:oo pm. Normally I am done at 4 but the last few days i have had to work until 6, very annoying to say the least. 4 is much nicer at least there is some day left to do something with. Remind me to never work in retail

Well, I have been working extra hours, extra days, extra minutes, extra , extra extra, hmmmm hopefully the money will be extra good.

mmm, I can smell the roasting stuffed chicken in the oven. The smell is making me soooo hungry. Much different from yesterday when I was volunteered by my employer to sit on a hole in one at a golf tournament which could have appropriately been called a snow tournament. Brrrr. We bought Crystal new winter boots and a new winter coat today, something I usually manage to put off until late October.

Hmmm, seemed as though it was a long time since I have blogged, aha, then I remembered that I had attempted to blog yesterday, only to be foiled by my computer. Meet the teacher night tonight. We are registered in a "community school" this year. What that means for meet the teacher night is free food for parents and kis. Hot dogs and macaroni salad, just a way to increase the attendance by tempting parents with food. Apparently there are more programs, sports and recreation opportunities in a "community school" as well. School fees are also signifigantly less, hooray.

It has been sooo cold lately, what is up with that. Can't we have just a little bit more of summer.

two days of school down for crystal. hopefully she will go to bed earlier tonight so she is not so tired in the morning. It is very hard to get her to get up and go to school, good thing she doesnt have to catch a bus at 7:00 am she would never make it. I paid my business license in the city today, now I can actually advertise without getting into trouble with the local municipality. Two more clients for Gerald.

Well, an interesting weekend INDEED. First of all there is the crazy relatives from Geralds side of the family who come to visit. His mother drives me crazy aaarg . Of course the house is too small for all of this company so we must make do. Jackie and Stan and the baby sleep on the living room floor, only to discover lo and behold in the morning there are carpet beetles crawling on them. Well, needless to say the carpet managed to find it's way to a new home outside of the house. I suppose that is what one can expect when one rents a house built back in the 40's. But all was not lost as the hard wood under the carpet is in quite good condition and actually enhances the room, not to mention the lack of a somewhat disgusting smell which use to permeate the room when you first came in the house. That appears to be gone as well. First day of school today for crystal and arianna, arianna is excited because she gets snacks in this school and crystal likes that fact that one of her friends from day care is in her grade. Hopefully this will be a good school year for us.

hump day to day, early morning meeting tommorrow, so technically I could leave early from work and since I don't work on Fri, I could have a nice long weekend, ah if it were only so. In reality, I will probably be too busy to leave work early tommorrow and on friday, while I may not be working at my day job, I have a meeting with the YWCA in the morning to discuss writing a research project and then I have a meetin with the Community Development Society of Saskatchewan to go over the contract for organizing their conference in November. No rest for the wicked they say.

Obedience class for puppies, how about obedience class for children.

It seems that the selling of school supplies has become as excessive as the selling of items for Christmas. $230.00 so far spent on school supplies and we are not done, nor have we yet paid the registration fee for school. Walmart was beond craziness today when we went shopping. The dog is very interesting he knows he is not allowed to chew on crystal's shoes, consequently he is laying on it just ever so slightly to the left of his lower lip, pretending to be sleepng. Then when no one is looking he will chew on it. hmmm.

Well so far Canada's medal performances have been some what lacking. Have we lost our competitive edge, do we not put enough money into sport, do we not want to win bad enough? What do you suppose could be the explanation for our poor showing.

brrrr, looks like summer, feels like winter.

LIfe is not worth living unless it is lived as an adventure, I am sure that my good friend who is in her early fifties would agree, particularly after spending the week on holidays on an acreage with her new friend, skinny dipping in the pond, running naked thru the rain, riding foolishly on the back of a quad, enjoying the view from the veranda and having chocolate coverd cherries served as a surprise. Perhaps the quote would be better if it went: Life is not worth living unless it is lived with a romantic fool who surprises you with chocolate covered cherries from the local general store.

time does fly when one is on holidays. Well the next few months will be busy, a conference in November to organize, three grants to write for the park, a number of events at work and a surprise job for thestaffing business. I wonder what else is about to happen.

The past few days at Little Bear Lake were very nice, the weather was crap of course except for to day which typically was the day that everyone left. I hear the weather is going to be good for this weekend hot and sunny. I would certainly ahve liked to experience that weather when everyone wasvisiting me at the lake rather than this coming wekkend, but I guess those are the breaks as they say. It was nice to have all the girls together except for arianna, I do enjoy that time always seems somewhat less stressful when it is just the girls. Even if only for a few days. Next time Carmen will have to bring thebaby, so that will be different. We did get to pick quite a few berries, and Carmen showed everyone how good she was with lighting the fire with wet wood.

Oh My it is past midnight and here I am working away diligently on my consulting business. But I think it is time to call it quits or I will hate myself in the morning. Gee and all for $2500.00.

well, it is the dentist blahs again. Thank God for Advil. The last appointment from the tooth fairy and now all is well at least for a year or two. Of course someday that last vicious wisdom tooth hiding at the very back of my jaw under the last tooth, will show it ugly head and I will require major dental work. hmmm, can't wait for that day. hahahaha. I am looking forward to the weekend with the girls. Sounds as though everyone will be able to make it saturday till tuesday night. A few days at the lake should be relazing and perhaps thought provoking?

When one feels a need for change, then one must change.  I drastic and impromptu hair cut has certianly made me feel as though change, for the better, is on the horizon.  Finally.

The cooler weather is a relief after the scorching heat a few days ago.  At least we can sleep at night now.  The next house has a great deal of trees surrounding it, I don't expect the heat will be as great a concern there.  The yard is a good place to cool off, as opposed to this one which has a solitary tree between the yards.  Well, another one of those tv debut days, both crystal and I are now local tv stars, crystal on a commercial for kidzfest and I for the intro into Taste of PA coming up next week.  Nothing like watching your self on tv to pinpoint things like how overweight, or old one looks.  Perhaps I should have taped it, then I could have replayed it every tiime I was hungry thus, effectively killing any appetite I might have had.  Oh well, such is life.  Perhaps I will visit the Herbal magic, vitamin store.

We are off on a movie adventure.  We are going to see the Cinderalla Story with Hilary Duff.  There are so few choices when you have pg under fourteen going to the movie.  We could have went to Shrek 2 again but it was only playing at 1:00, I suppose that means that it's run at our theatre is close to being over. I would rather see Spiderman two, but we think it may hve too much voilence for Crystal.  Well, the big move, the second in 60 days is coming up again at the end of the month.  This time we have a small old house, but it is only one block away from the new school and has it own yard with lots of trees . I am looking forward to moving away from the dog which continually craps in our yard after it jumps the fence and the crazzzzy neighbour who roles around in the gras at four o'clock in the morning pretending he is a dog.  hmmmm.
 

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.  After having been somewhat unmotivated to write short yet remarkable quips on line and display them for the entire world to view, I have determined that participating in this ritual may have some stress relieving qualities.   When reading for enjoyment is no longer possible due to an already time strapped agenda then perhaps a short jaunt spent in the writing zone can tear ones thoughts away from the next day's agenda or the present day's trials and tribulations.  Perhaps turning ones failures into a comic satire based ever so slightly on reality can remind one that the seriousness of one's mistakes is most pronounced in one's one mind.  When in reality the decisions that I must make on a daily basis are much less important than the decisions of one who must determine the life or death fate of another or the decisions of those who seek to survive when there is no food or clean water, yet my decisions seem to create such a great deal of torment constantly trying to determine the "right" move for myself and perhaps three or four others, trying to avoid the "wrong" decision so as not to be constantly reminded of that error.  Yet many wrong decisions are made everyday by many people who simply chose to continue on and shake off a wrong decision like yesterday's bad news.  ahhhh to seek a time of less stress and simpler decisions.

Well, the first step on the way to owning the house is complete. The previous owners and myself have come to an agreement on a value that we are both comfortable with. They are leaving me the fridge, stove, two sheds, all the drapes and curtains. The inspector will tell me if there is any trouble with wiring and the such. I already know it needs to be painted, but we have an early possession date and I would have time to do that before we moved in. All in all a very good deal for the area of the city and should be worth substantially more once it is painted and the velevet wall paper is removed. Not to mention the completion of a brand spankin new school only three blocks away. and Arianna's friends even live close by, Now the hard part, to make the deal work at the bank.

well, the early results appear to point to a minority liberal government. That is probably better than a Stephen harper Conservative majority. The conservative party is just a little too far out there on some of the issues. I saw another house yesterday, very very good location, nice yard, nice garage, new windows, old cupboards, old velvet wallpaper and very old paint, flooring ok, but would need to be replaced at some point, very nice layout though, new deck and big insulated and gyproced garage. Hmmmmm, what to do, what to do. I will have to decide tommorrow, if I want to put an offer on it or not.

Well, today was indeed an interesting day, starting with the crazy neighbour incident, the red light i drove thru, the interview from hell and finding out the person with the house I want to buy wants more than I am willing to pay. Thank goodness tommorrow is a new day!!!! Oh, yeah the interview from hell was for a job which pays more than I have ever made in my life, somewhere between $53,000 and $55,000.00 dollars.

I put an offer on a house today, hopefully it will be acceptable to the current homeowners, as it is a cute house with the right amount of space for us. We will need to put shingles on but I guess that is allright, since the inside of the house has been completly redone.

Tonight I will be overseeing the all Candidates debate for the Federal Election. I wonder if I shall be more enlighted once the event is over. I doubt it, my choices are usually based on who I won't vote for and then whoever is left is who gets my vote. The process of elimination I believe it is called. Tomorrow my real estate agent is back from his trip out of town, I am quite excited actually about looking at the house that we found tucked away in a quiet area of the east flat. Well tommorrow will tell if the inside is as acceptable as the outside.

Aah the rain, and more rain, and more rain. It was certainly the weekend for rain. Just a little too cold to really enjoy the camping experience, even in a camper. Crystal didnt seem to mind though. Now back to the city, back to work, back to looking for a house. I wonder how the job interview will go on Thursday. It is indeed looming closer. Well, I suppose in three days I will have my answer.

For some reason today has been Thursday for me. It has been Thursday all day, in fact I've told many other people today was Thursday as well. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I have an In Motion meeting tomorrow which I am trying not to forget about. The meeting to make the masses move, a program to make us all fitter, reminds me a bit of the old participaction program. Just a new twist on the title. We shall see how the meeting goes tomorrow (the real Thursday), so far I have been less than impressed with their marketing tactics and less then impressed with the local coordinator.

I have a job interveiw next week. Director of Administrative Services Cooperative Health Centre. I cetainly hope the fact that is has such a long title means that is has a bigger salary.

Tommorrow the high speed and max are finally going to be connected. No more tying up the phone line or dealing with the slow pace of dial up. yay. I've sent my resume off today to a new more lucrative position. The deadline for applications is tommorrow, so if they are interested in interviewing me it shouldn't take long to hear from them. fingers crossed

There is only thing in life that is certain and that is change. Change is constant, why is it then that I feel so stuck at the moment. Stuck and unable to change certain things, unable to move forward, provide a safe environment or to enjoy the things that we do have. Why is it that everything seems so hard at the moment. I think I need some uplifting and motivational reading. Perhaps flow and synchronicity can be returned in harmony. ???

Why do you suppose our society has conditioned us to believe that people must exist in partnership. Partnerships where one individual is continually forced to put up with the obnoxious behaviour of another human being. To assist them in their search for ?? happiness? satisfaction? is futile, simply because they prefer to be unhappy or one wouldnt need to assist them to find what they dont want to begin with. Obnoxiousness should be considered an official form of abuse. It is certainly annoying. But then the bottom line is, we all have choices to make and we must deal with the consequences of those choices. Perhaps time will come when a new direction must be chosen, it is unfortunate that often the choices of one individual will have an affect on many.

I have a tooth ache, imagine that, you go to the dentist to fix your teeth and then they hurt when you get home. hmmm. I'm tired from listening to the neighbours try to kill each other in the middle of the night and we missed the hook up my high speed max tv internet guy again today. I think I am going to officially complain to Sask tel about the inefficiency of their tv/internet business. Do they think the whole world revolves around when their men can go to your house and hook up your internet or what!! I think the tooth thing is making me a little testy perhaps it is time to publish this post and take a nap.

Well, tommorrow will certainly be interesting. At one, I am scheduled for dental work. yuck, yuck and double yuck. I could use more sophisticated language to describe how I feel about that, but I think the point is made. Although later in the day I will have an opportunity to look at a house. One that is in a very nice location, close to the school and not too big. The creative thinking will have to come in to play, if I need a down payment, if I can qualify for zero down that is one thing, but coming up with 5% is another.

Well, who is the fishing expert now. The only one to catch any fish this weekend, waalah, me ha ha. I managed to land a White fish at Little Bear Lake. The camper is cleaned and ready for the summer, now I just need a truck load of groceries. Next weekend will be grocery weekend.

The world of bloging is far less attractive when using dial up. Apparently Sasktel isnt sophisticated enough to have high speed hook up without physically cominig to your house. We arent scheduled to have our max and internet back until next tuesday, grrrr. Other wise the move was fairly eventless. Although I would like to have seen the feat (I was at work) of Gerald loading, a bunk bed, a double bed box spring and mattress, a couch, a computer, a tv, two coffe tables, a antique sewing maching, one dresser, a table and five chairs all in one load in the mini van, with the couch on top of the van, with one arm of the courch through the sunroof for stability and the mattress under the couch. hmmmmmmm. must have been a traffic stopper.

Boxes boxes and more boxes, the joy of moving. after work entertainment for the last two nights, serious furniture moving tomorrow after lunch. Need to have the strength to move those heavy pieces of furniture. I can't possibly imagine where all this junk came from. Twelve months ago when we moved into the apartment we had two lawn chairs. And the new place is bigger, just imagine what I will have to move next time!!

I was a part of a focus group of individuals partiipating in a community consultation. An interesting experience, valuable?? well that is questionable. It was a basic S.W.O.T analsys on early learning and care in the Province of Saskatchewan. With a wish list at the end. Somewhat designated to get people to say what the government wants us to say. I did get to participate in some interesting dialogue close to the end. It is clear that this government is failing parents and children miserably. In services to children including available therapies such as speech and occupational therapy, child care, educators understanding life issues and FAS. There is truly a need for government intervention to ensure the future of the children of saskatchewan.

Another move to look forward to. This weekend will be hear in a flash, then we will be lifting, bending, picking up, and moving furniture and boxes. Perhaps I should start to pack a few.

Crystal was obnoxious this evening, preferring to play at the park and not come home and get ready for bed. Well, now she doesnt get to read stories and tommorrow she will be tired in the morning. Oh well, we shall try again tomorrow.

Listening to the weather this evening, the weather man is talking about what a nice day it was today, and then I hear something about a funnel cloud watch. Does that mean it is that time again, the time of year when every storm has the possibility of bringing with it the ominous funnel cloud, After seeing the damage done near Candle Lake last year, I certainly wouldnt want to be around during a tornado or any other such similar weather event. Oh well, soon I will be in a four level split duplex, at least then I can hide in the basement.

I had a Dr's appointment today. My choltestrol is so good my Doctor actually congratulated me and told me how lucky I was to have such a low cholestrol level. White and red cell counts were good, blood sugar level was high normal, but not diabetic, the Doctor wasnt worried so that is good. mammogram is scheduled for June 2 and the results from the other lovely test don't come back for two months. Where do you suppose they are sending them, Vancouver, ha ha , just a little humour there. So my own personal conclusion would be that if I lost some weight I would probably be as healthy as a horse "old saying, means what exactly?" In much better physical condition to say the least.

seinfeld is such an amusing little ditty, unfortunate that it is no longer being produced. The oldies are the best, a few that i havent seen before have been on lately. Quite hilarious actually.

Well, I bought a new table and chair set, at least new to us, for $30.00. What can I say, a table and five chairs for $30.00, wow. I also bought a slider rocker and a doll house for $10.00. Arianna found a pokemon card holder book full of pokemon cards for 1.00 and a rare beanie ladybug with eleven spots for 5.00. She seems to think it is worth a $1,000.00. I find it interesting though that is it was worth a thousand dollars, she only paid 5.00 bucks. Crystal found a november birthday beanie for 1.00. All in all an good garage sale day.

The field of dentistry must be populated with masochists. Today, I met a Dental Therapist whose job it was, was to determine the health of my gums. That is a fancy way to say this is an opportunity for someone I have never met in my life to poke me in the gums with every conceivable sharp object in the dentists office. While I had of course finally resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be in pain for the sake of my crumbling tooth, I am now forced to destroy my psychological sanity by focusing on the fact that my tooth will not be dealt with until June the 8th. At which time they will remove the old filling, which is huge and then refill the tooth with new bonded alloy. But, of course, there is a but, after that particular bit of fun, there is a possiblity that the tooth may not make it through that procedure with enough tooth intact to actually hold the filling in place, hence I may require a crown. This of course is not determinable prior to digging out the old filling and replacing it with the new filling. Interesting, oh well, now I have three weeks to think about the sound of the drill, the little pieces of alloy flying about in my mouth while an assistance attempts to such them up with a power suction tube before they slide down my throat and into my stomach, not to mention the long needles used to freeze my mouth and the pain after. hmmmmmm, maybe I will chose this time to visit Bermuda, ha how about that idea hey.

well, tommorrow I have a dentist appointment. Brought on solely by the crumbling of one tooth at the very farrrr back (halfway down my throat) of my mouth. An area which I would rather suffer a tooth ache than have someone sticking their hands into. Particularly as I have a very sensitive gag reflex. Needless to say, I can't decide if I would like time to slow down, so it takes along time for tommorrow to arrive or speed up so the much dreaded ordeal is over. Of course, this means not only one appontment but a few more, I am sure. Already I have second appointment booked for a cleaning, but once they get those hands in my mouth, I am sure that they will spot a whole new batch of cavities to be filled or whatever, culminating in about four or five apppointments, yikes. Oh yeah, that whole this won't hurt, so just lay back and watch the tv in the ceiling doesn't fool me either. Even the needles to insert the drugs to kill the nerves hurt. Perhaps one day they will invent non invasive dentistry!!!

focus, focus, focus, need to put together a marketing plan for priority staffing to generate some business.

You are: BARBECUE SAUCE! You're sort of a bitter
child with an attitude.


---What fast food condiment are you?---
brought to you by Quizilla

It takes such a long time for decisions to be made. To know if the proposals that have been submitted will be accepted, or if they are rejected. Wait, wait, wait. I guess that is really no choice in the matter decisions will be made when they are made.

Brad Wall, Leader of the Saskatchewan Party. Interesting individual, met with him today in relation to the work on the child care 2003 and beyond strategy. If he had been the leader of the Saskatchewan Party in the last election, I would have voted for him. He certainly has more sense than the present Premiere, having said that, I must clarify that I have been an NDP supporter for years, but this last year and in particular the last six months, the NDP appears to be grasping at straws and has lost control. An impromptu election brought on by a non confidence vote would certainly prove to be interesting.

The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.

back from the allergy doctor. No allergies, just a chronic sinus condition which cause excess mucus in the back of the throat, perscription is to use nasonex for next six weeks. This will reduce the inflammation in her sinus and the mucus. Well that's good that she isnt allergic to anything. And the cough isnt asthma related

ooh, I like this. My "new to me" computer. Although this keyboard somewhat sucks. It will take some getting used to. Nice 17 inch screen, just fast enough to be efficient, works well on the net and even has a free virus scan, thanks Dan

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Classic IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically accurate; to read more about the science behind our IQ test, click here. 131

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well, the trip to Edmonton tomorrow should be interesting. the last time we went we didnt have arianna with us. Her and crystal will make the trip enjoyable I am sure. hopefully it wont be too long. I wonder if Gerald has found his friends phone number, then he will have someone to visit.

ah, sigh of relief, two more proposals down, two more short quick ones to do. Then it is off to Edmonton for Stars on Ice. I am actually getting quite excited about the whole idea, even though, I am not the one going to the show. Just the trip to Edmonton will be nice, and the sushi, I can't wait. It will be worth all the whining from Gerald and Grandpa, just to go to a good sushi place. Not that the ones in Saskatoon aren't good.

ho ho, it's off to the lake we go, time to check out the "cabin". Hopefully all is well, and the propane furnace works, and the power works and there is no snow. We shall see.

well, I certainly have a love hate relationship with technology. I like my computer, sweet, fast, smooth, light, compact laptop that is. But I feel quite frustrated with the email at the momenet. I have had to add one by one all of a group of paperworks addresses, about 145 of them into my sasktel email address book from my outlook express mail book, because for some reason strange to me and apparently unknown to the techies who work for sasktel as well, my outlook express will no longer access my email account. Everthing appears to be normal, yet is not. I am bringing my computer to Edmonton, Dan you can have it for a while, hopefully I will have a less frustrating computer after that.

well, one more proposal down, Agricore United request for paving stones value of about 20,000.00 to construct the surrounding deck of the pasquia park pool, let's wait and see what happens shall we. The stones could be designed when laid to depict the logo and company name as a permanent tribute to Agricore United. Makes sense to me, wonder if it will make sense to them.

I think i may have come up with a new idea for paperworks consulting. risk management audits for voluntary sector organizations, if i can work with the insurance companies to certify the audits and provide a lower cost for liability insurance to the organizations whic hreceive risk management audtis and then implement the suggestions, i will have a winner. i think i will talk to an insurance company rep tommorrow.

aahh yes, that sinking feeling of perhaps I failed, only those who are residing in a slimy coated bubble of denial are able to avoid it. My advice, recognize the feeling, accept the feeling, determine a course of action (either take a different direction or continue with even more dtermination in the same direction) and go forward. I have just sent two proposals, yes, the ones that I have been procrastinating for two months. Well, now they are gone and will either be approved or not. I will either be feeling elated or deflated depening on the results, and I have actually set myself up for this by doing the work and sending it in. go figure. If both proposals are unsuccessful, I will certainly feel less than elated, but it is a risk, as long as you feel that you have done what you can based on what you know, then you must remain satisfied and in control even in the face of apparent failure. Things all happen for a reason, pay attention some times the reasons become clear, sometimes they don't for years.

hmmm, my thoughts on bickering, let's see, bickering is a large part of the make up of some relationships, and plays no part in others. Whether there is a link between which relationships are healthy and which are not, isnt clear, perhaps a measure can be made by the type of bickering, is it about important things, or not important things, does it cause pain, or is it disrespectful, does the couple laugh about it later, or defend or deny it, is one person always bickered at or to and the other person is always the bickerer, is the bickering personally insulting or somewhat amusing. I think the person must pay attention to instinctive gut feelings, if the bickering causes a strange ucky feeling in the pit of one's tummy then it is not healthy and a better way to communicate or to determine the root of the problem(since the problem is never really the problem) should be sought. I also wonder about the theory that unless there is some degree of bickering/fighting there is no passion, that may be true, but is passion really a desirable state of long term relationships, passion synonomous with lust, and desire terms often more referred to in short term relationships with respect, love, vying for the long term dictionary. Just some thoughts on bickering, I on the other hand have learned to bicker with style over the last ten years, when one lives with a bickerer, one must either learn how to bicker back or find a new partner. It is an either all or none situation.

well, now that I spent sooooo much time procrastinating over the last two months, I am working my butt off trying to write two proposals at once. Ahh the adrenalin rush, one is almost done, but doesnt need to be in until thursday, so it can wait now until wed night and i will reveiw then, The other is due tomorrow night, so forward and onward.

Crystal is coughing less during the day, but still quite a bit at night, we shall see. Marc is an interesting fellow, Angie seems to think so that's good.

Well it certainly looks like a nice day outside. Crystal has a cold now and is quite frustrated with not being able to go outside. I certainly hope that the medicine we have now will help with the long term cough too. Well, I guess we shall see. I have three extra days off, time for relaxing a bit at least. The time is flying bye till when we go to Edmonton as well, that should be fun.

I attended the Samuel McLoed Awards for Business Excellence in the City of Prince Albert. The Legacy award is given to a family who has been in business in the city for a number of generations and has contributed to the long term health of community etc,etc, ect. The spokesperson for the family who received the legacy award made an interesting comment. He felt that its dedication and hard work that had brought them to where they were today, that luck played a small part, but that it was the ability to sniff out an opportunity that had played the biggest role in their success. "The ability to spot an opportunity" what a great idea, look for an opportunity and make it work rather than just sitting back and living the staus quo. He also talked about how hard it was to be self employed but that never in his lifetime would he ever go back to being an employee. Hmmm, was there a message for those of us who are to afraid to leave the comfortable nest of employer/employee relationships.

I wasn't actually supposed to be at those awards, the $35.00 ticket was given to me at the last minute by an unlikely party. Considering I have been struggling for three years with the idea of going into business for myself without the safety net of an employer, perhaps there was a message there for me?? Also the computer guy asked me about Priority Staffing and if I had any qualified computer staff on hand. anybody out there know any available computer people looking for a challenge??

I always knew I was good.

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happy birthday to gramma, from crystal and me. Well, I broke down and bought a new copy of mcafee virus scan and firewall, I had six trojans two viruses and about three dozen adware cookies. grrrrr, so annoying, I feel like never using the internet again, just to spite all those annoying virus maker people. In fact, when I have the desktop set up it will not be connected to the internet. Only one infected computer in the house is enough.

how annoying is that!! I found a computer virus and had to eradicate it with a virus eradicator program. Don't these "create a virus" people have somthing better to do with their time. Do they really believe that creating a virus makes them important or maybe it's impotent, ha that would be justice.

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, how old am i, how old am I, too old to say thats for sure, happy birthday to me.

happy happy birthday happy happy belated birthday to Dan!!!!! Sorry we missed your birthday. Happy Happy birthday.

Official appointment for allergy tests is May 4th, in Saskatoon. Not two weeks but four weeks, still not too bad, all in all, the shape of health care and waiting lists in Saskatchewan taken in consideration

Crystal my cough cough girl

Well, it's off to the pediatric allergist for us. In about two weeks give or take we will be in Saskatoon to determine what is causing Crystal's cough and how to treat it. We shall see how Crystal likes all the little pokey things that they will use. Hopefully they will do the testing on her back where she really won't be able to see what they are doing. I am sure it will be interesting.

Application form for Cenntennial Facilities Grant Program, Agricore United, Weyerhauser, what do they have in common. They all have grant proposal request forms which need to be filled out before April 15, 2004 in triplicate all for the same proposal. Could be an interesting week.

Just finished watching "Nell" with Jodie Foster, An oldie but one I had not previously seen. Brings home the reminder that there are some in the human race who do not wish to understand, but only to exploit or use in other ways those who are different or not deemed "normal" in the eyes of the average person. In particular the bar scene and the media related scenes unfortunately are too true to life. Recommend watching also for the acting talents of Jodie Foster.

well, looks like fresh perch for supper. Hopefully I won't have to cook it, that would make it even better. Perhaps we will have a chance to catch some pickerel tomorrow, it should be plus five or so outside, Crystal would like that if she caught a fish.

hmmm. Another child on the honour role, the scientific theory that children receive their intelligence from their mothers must be correct.

each day has but twenty four hours, why is it that some days feel like they have one hundred and twenty four hours and each hour has one hundred and twenty four minutes. Today was one of those days and it is only 9:28 pm. by the clock. I think I will simply go to bed and wake up in a new day tomorrow. That usually has some promise to it, regardless of the immediate situation.

geneology the study of ancestorial relationships, or more realistically put the study of how to keep ones eyes open with toothpicks at 1:00 am. in the morning while trying to pick specific names out of pages and pages of web documents. THe metis Red River Settlement around 1820 or so is quite interesting and confusing. When one is searching for a Antoine Larocque for instance it doesnt help when the first born male child of each family is usually given the same name as the father, hence 3 antione larocques all living at the same time with different birthdates, different children, different wives, but of course just to keep it interesting, sometimes they change their last names to rocurburn or tuskane or larock, but yet they are still the same people.
hmmmm. A lack of thorough documentation is also a bit of a barierer, so sometimes the antoine larocques on paper where confused with other antione larocques and then the birth dates or descendants would be mixed together in what little documentation there is. The Church of Latter Day Saints or Mormons were very diligent at record keeping and it is there history that provides the most assistance. Oh well, just a good reason to continue to procrastinate on working on that proposal.

Well, if Arianna's year will be as exciting as the day, who knows what will happen, including asteroids which pass much too close to earth for comfort. Blizzard conditions and 15 pound jackfish caught to day during fishing. Maybe her tumoultous hormones are affecting the universe.
We all have so much more power than we truly are aware of.

Arianna will be thirteen in the morning when she wakes. How will that affect us I wonder. The constant struggle to determine whether 13 is the age of child or youth. To play with beanie babies or put them in a box for safe keeping, certainly not to hand them down to Crystal, too soon for that, probably not until arianna is 16.

procrastination is such a savory experience, an opportunity to make events drag on and on making the completion of those events so much more enjoyable. A mucher higher high than the experience of simply getting to it and finishing a project. I, on certain days, am I master of procrastination, take now for instance. I should be working on a $100,000.00 project grant, but I just can't bring myself to start or finish for that matter. Perhaps the deadline does not loom large enough just yet, not for another 29 days, 30 yesterday. Maybe tomorrow, i shall be more motivated.

some days are for just plain lighthearted silliness. Don't ya think!

Arianna did a great job in her play. She will need to take more drama lessons next year. Tommorrow I will mail away my income tax, what a great feeling, particularly as I will be getting money back. My computer is acting up again, though. Dan and Carmen need to visit more often, so my computer equipment can be better maintained. ha haha ha

another day goes by, crystal was coughing a bit this afternoon again but a bit less by evening so hopefully this is getting better.

ok, we now have a nose spray, and a stronger antibiotic. That should pretty much take care of everything. I am sure crystal will be much happier when her cough is finally gone. As for me, well the advil cold and sinus seems to have worked. Interesting day, though just the same. Goes to show you just how idiotic the school system is. Major storm highways closed in Regina and the school here sends Arianna's band class to REgina for a competition. Are they crazy or what!! Apparently they must have made it or I would have heard differently by now. But I am sure that Arianna will have an interesting story to tell everyone. A story about how no one on the bus including the driver could see anything. AND then, not only do they send children into peril, but they also send them outside to play. Seems to me safety should come before competition and common sense should come before a break for the teacher.

Well, the ongoing cough cough of crystal. The pediatrician says that the cough is not infectious and has become a behavourial issue or a habit from coughing for such a long period of time. The treatment is to ignore it, but it could take from 6 weeks to 6 months to go away. I on the other hand have a real cold. with a real stuffed nose and a real headache and a real earache and some real advil cold and sinus.

Crystal as an appointment with the Pediatrician tommorrow, hopefully we will know more about her cough after tommorrow morning.

Well, our business information is beginning to get out. people are phoning us who are looking for work. That's a good thing, because we also have a job that will require employees in about a two week period. Tommorrow we go to the credit union to get an operating line in order to pay the bills that will come in prior to our first billing period. We will see how that goes. Crystal is doing much better, she went to kindergarten and day care today.

finally, no proposals tonight. and Crystal has an ear infection. Six weeks two different drugs, four different doctors including the one in the emergency room at the hospital and we finally have the proper diagnoses and the proper medication. Perhaps we are all as healthy as we are in spite of the medical system. It will certainly be a relief not to here a constant cough any longer or to worry needlessly about strange diseases. As for the proposals, if only I could make as much money as the time and effort that goes into these proposals, ahhh perhaps one day. Although if the last one is successful it has a good chance of also being financially rewarding. yay!! Now to just wait and see.

ok, it is 1:50 a.m., why am I still up. perhaps becuase I needed to finish a proposal on Indian REsidential school abuse issues and because crystal is sick with a fever and we took her to the hospital. Well they did enough tests perhaps we will finally find out what is wrong.

well, that sucks, the guy in pirates of the caribbean was way better in my opinion that sean penn. oh and poor bill murray, robbed again, because he can only do comedy.

ok, who has been playing on the computer, whoever added the triple xxx favorites to the favorite list. Quite puzzling actually, because Gerald doesnt know how to do that, and Arianna wouldnt be silly enough to leave them on the list. hmmmm, maybe the wireless network is attaching it self to my computer

two hundred people crammed into one room listening intently to the information about the diamond mine project. That was how I spent my lunch, although I did get a free twenty dollar carved beef dinner out of it. Crystal's cough is better and her xrays show that there werent any problems so that is a good thing. It looks like I may be invited to a debriefing meeting for the PA Winter Festival Committee to assist them increase the reveneu and look at the marketing of the winter festival, hmmm that ought to be interesting. Unfortunately I wont get a twenty dollar carved roast beef dinner for that one.

The days are getting longer and warmer, the snow is disappearing, the roads and sidewalks are once again roads and sidewalks at least here in Saskatchewan, I suppose Halifax residents would have different story to tell. The next reminder that spring is around the corner will be the act of purchasing tax filing software.

hmmmm, I just don't know

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perhaps this will be a fishing weekend, the weather looks good.

well, one of my proposals is getting national coverage. Different pages will be displayed on different days on the canadian child care federation website. Too bad I was getting paid national money. Perhaps I will be as fortuante with the next one as well. I never thought that our little pr campaign would draw so much attention

I seem to be having a satisfying day today, the weather is beautiful, I had a great vietnamese lunch with Arianna, I have two more leads for my business, consulting that is and now I am sitting back and relaxing and watching the news. tommorrow crystal comes home from staying with gramma and grampa, so much for relaxing in the evening after that, at least before bedtime. Later I will need to finish the marketing package i have been developing, i need only to add the narrative and the price quotes. So hard to know what will be acceptable, I think perhaps around $3250.00 that figure looks like it will work with this package. Not too much Not too little. well time will tell, indeed.

I seem to be having a satisfying day today, the weather is beautiful, I had a great vietnamese lunch with Arianna, I have two more leads for my business, consulting that is and now I am sitting back and relaxing and watching the news. tommorrow crystal comes home from staying with gramma and grampa, so much for relaxing in the evening after that, at least before bedtime. Later I will need to finish the marketing package i have been developing, i need only to add the narrative and the price quotes. So hard to know what will be acceptable, I think perhaps around $3250.00 that figure looks like it will work with this package. Not too much Not too little. well time will tell, indeed.

ahhh, how lovely indeed the luxorius scented bubble bath, steaming aromatic soothing, a bit of relaxation time. Nice even for someone with a stuffy nose. Alas, I must stop procrastinating and return to the design for my next marketing project. A digital camera would come in handy now.

happy valentine's day. especially to someone I happen to know who is craving chocolate. I have some, it was yummmy. Looks like snow for tomorrow, must be going to warm up. Oh well, as long as it doesnt storm. soon it will be Easter than it has to be warmer for sure.

A beautiful day indeed. Arianna found $20.00 and I may have another marketing project to work on. Those are so much more enjoyable than crunching numbers at the Chamber Office. Almost like an artistic endeavour, where one must combine appropriate artwork with complimentary, yet effective wording. I can just feel something in the wind, but I can't seem to put my fingers on it. There are a number of initiatives just on the brink of starting, initiatives which I could easily be involved in. I feel like the proverbial horse with the carrot in front of his nose, only in this case I can't actually see the carrot on catch a scintillating wiff from time to time. I also keep running across people who are constantly portraying themselves as professionals in areas where in truth, they are completely incompetent.

The universe is a teacher of patience. Today, I put my company brochures into the local career fair. I of course expected the phone to be ringing off the hook as excited technical students flocked to my new company. Knocking down the door to my office in their exerburance to initiate a lifelong challenging career in the exciting and variable world of temporary employment. No such luck, the phone hasn't rung once. Perhaps my expectations of the power of 38 brochures was a little high. Ahh life is such a joy. Patience has not often been one of my strong points. Patience and tenancity.

We had the most scrumptious breakfast this morning, in a quaint little restaurant in the older part of the city of prince albert. A lovely breakfast brunch cooked fresh, complete with tart quiche and eggs benedict, as well as fresh fruit and raisin toast. mmm mmm mmm. For the outrageous price of 4.99 per adult and 2.50 for crystal. It was so good we bought two loaves of homemade bread to take home with us. Grand Central Cafe on Central Ave, Prince Albert, check it out.

for such a long time , I have put off doing a formal business plan for any businesss I have wanted to or been involved in. I dont know why, some strange psychological block against formulating a concrete plan. Maybe because if I see in black and white ahead of time that my concept or idea is not a money maker, I will no longer have a reason to do it. Maybe because I dont want to know when my ideas wont work. Well, I did a business plan, mostly because we will need an operating loan and in order to get an operating loan one must have a well prepared business plan. Hah, if I follow my business plan I will actually make money. That is somehow a comforting thought. Of course I would like to make more money, but that probably will come with a better marketing plan. ohh money, money, money.

Flow and Synchroncity, are of course not just about pain, they are also about being part of a magical all encompassing universe. "Flow is the natural effortless unfolding of our life in a way that moves us towards wholeness and harmony." "By nature we cannot directly cause synchronicity to happen--yet it responds to our needs. It boggles the mind because it seems as though the Universe swings into place to give us what we need." Learn to listen to your intuition and follow what it says, learn to see the little meanings of everyday things, pay attention to what was meaningless before, relate it back to your reality, the direction will be clear. Quotations from The Power of Flow Practical Ways to Transform Your Life With Meaningful Coincidence.

Flow and Synchronicity, everything happens for a reason, if only to show us that we need to pay more attention to the signs around us which are guiding us. When an abrupt change in direction is required the pain that is attached to the decision can render us immobile. We weigh our selves down with the is it right, isnt it right, should i shouldnt i, will it be better, will it be worse etc. etc. It has been my experience that once a decision is made and a course of action is decided upon a great deal of weight is lifted, enough to allow us to continue in the new direction, regardless of difficulties on that path. It is said by many that pain is the true creater of wisdom.

The numbers of the outside thermometer are ever so slowly advancing towards a more acceptable level of warmth. unfortuanetly this is happening so slowly that my body still believes it to be -54, even though it is really -24. Crystal has verbally indicated her wish that it would be hot outside and we could go to the beach. aaaah if this were only so. Looks like might be good fishing for the weekend though. so far forcast is for -8 and sunny.

morning comes soon, work again tommorrow. I have just finished submitting a proposal, now I must wait and see if it is successful. Much like the nail biting period of the job interview the time in between the first hour after the interview and the next two days until the dreaded or anticipated phone call, of lack thereof. The next proposal is due February 16th, so, I shall be back at the drawing board again tomorrow.

well, it took a tiger torch, a new battery and a hero to start the truck. With a fire under the truck, a $100.00 battery later and gerald's frozen fingers he was able to save the day, well, actually the week, or to be more honest probably the whole friggin month. It is apparent that I rely much to heavily on my truck. We actually had to walk, horror of horror, to the convenience store to purchase milk and bread. Actually, I made Arianna walk. Honestly it feels much better to know that my truck works again, Crystal is coughing and hacking and at least now I know we can go see the medical professionals if need be.

2001 Jimmy rendered immobile by -50 degree weather, dead, useless battery. Bonnie Tyler's "I Need a Hero" seems relevant right about now. Reality check, will probably need to rely on my own personal resources rather than that of some duffus masquarading as a hero. hahaha

brrrrr, I believe it has warmed up to -47 from - 51. Somehow it doesn't feel much different. Even my 4 x 4 was grumpy this morning, refusing to go into drive from park, and howling mightily when pressure was put on the brake, bumping along as though driving over a thousand speed bumps with each rotation (?) of the square tires, feebily attempting to grasp some resemblance of warmth and breathe it into the cab. I in my red scarf, purple mittens and green winter jacket driving in the frozen icicle position. Not a pretty picture, one holds out only a small breath of hope for tomorrow.

Well, what does one really know, what wisdom does one gain with age. The wisdom that in the winter time it is good to check the weather when planning travel and better yet travel in the day time.

I watched the move Bruce Almighty tonite. That certainly was a waste of time the only pitifully amusing parts were the dog scenes. The other movie we rented which we still have to watch is Chicago. I heard from an old friend today, via email. Old friends invokes sadness in me, as it seems as though too much time passes between communications. In a world where keeping in touch is simple and faster than any time in history, it seems that the reality is the easier it is to keep in touch the less we do so. Isn't that right Grant.

Well, all appears to be well, arianna is off to watch a basketball game, crystal is playing mario sunshine and gerald is yakking on the phone. The yak a strange but interesting creature, truly a speciman with a personality. yakity yakity, yak, yak.

well, the business cards are printed, not just for one business but for two. PaperWorks Consulting and Priority Staffing. I have proposals to write tonite for PaperWorks and tax registration forms to fill out for Priority Staffing. Then I think I shall order pizza and play zelda.

well, I got a new mouse today. It is an optical mouse. It seems to be somewhat lighter and a little finicky. Sometimes it just bounces off the screen as though it tripped and fell. Perhaps it is not an optical mouse at all, but a blind mouse. Perhaps I require three of them as in three blind mice to properly execute any mouse procedures. Maybe I should have ordered a tail less mouse. As in, cut off their tails with a carving knife, three blind mice. Do you suppose they are now employed by Microsoft? Oh well, I am sure I will develop some level of expertise with my new mouse at some point.

productive meetings are always such as joy to be involved in. business opportunities and collaboration meeting today went well. we will be establishing a new training program and our business mentorship program is becoming a hit. that will bring more work to the front lines though, so the next few weeks will be busy. our research project kicks off in the next week or two as well. hmmmmm it appears I will be very busy. When will I find time to finish reading my consulting book.

Ah, the decisions one must make. What to do, What to do. My little consulting company may be on the verge of becoming to hectic for my part time involvement. But I have great fear, of letting my full time paid job go, just to go on my own. Am I concerned that I may have to rely on myself to make the same amount of money as a full time consultant that I do now. You bet. I could use some real world perspective here. How does one become brave enough to move from employee to the sole owner/manager of a company. Perhaps it is the knowledge that there are no gaurantees that is holding me back. Although strangely enough the no guarantee rule has never stopped me in any other aspect of my life, in fact I am often motivated to act just because there is no guarantee. Maybe I need a business mentor. Perhaps I will find one.

Well it seems very lonely here in the world that encompasses the internet. A world devoid of comments is somewhat like having a conversation with yourself. Although having a conversation with yourself can be somewhat amusing particularly when driving a vehicle, as the people who meet you on the road tend to have mixed reactions. I must go back to reading my books, when I went to the library the other day I was very optimistic about how many books I would read. So far I haven't actually finished any and they are due back next week. Perhaps a good soak in the bath with my 10 ways to be a better consultant book will be quite relaxing.

aaarg, my crazy printer, whoops, machines can't be crazy only people. Just the same it appears to be crazy, getting hot when it shouldnt, stopping to rest when it shouldnt, printing what it wants to not what it is told to, gee, seems crazy. Oh well, I suppose I will simply have to resign myself to the fact that I will still be printing tommorrow night.

Today the snow was falling combined with gusts of wind, somewhat of a blustery affair actually. Many were pleased, those who ski and snowmobile, some were not, those who shovel and plow. I personally don't mind the snow as long as it is not interferring with my ability to drive. I will be driving tomorrow so hopefully the snow will abate until late in the day. I am sure the day will unfold as it should be irregardless of my desire for a clear day. Although with a positive thought process and a strong focus on experiencing a clear driving day, I could just make it happen. Ya think.

Weary, would be a good word to describe my demeanor at the moment. Weary from staring at the computer for the last couple of hours, developing marketing information for a public relations campaign, should have worked on it earlier. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. oh well, time to call it quits.

Fifteen minutes till bedtime. That's what I say every night before eight oclock when it's just about time for Crystal to go to bed. Sometimes it seems more like fifteen minutes until I have time to myself, or fifteen minutes until I need to work on grants and proposals to further my consulting business, these days time revolves around Crystal's bedtime. With having had four children who range in age from 24 to 5 it seems as though it has always been someone's bedtime other than mine. How strange my house will be one day when this last child is grown and gone.

currently reading the Productive Narcissist, Micheal Maccoby - after experiencing the real life of an unproductive narcissist for the last ten years, one must glean a small bit of hope from this publication in the sense that if there are productive narcissists perhaps the unproductive ones can be meandered in a more productive direction. Ah yes, one can only hope. But then what is life without hope, nothing more than the physical rising and setting of the sun? Perhaps.

somewhere in the universe are all of the thoughts of all of the people of all time....